A Moment of Weakness

Today was one of those days when everything went wrong. I'm usually the picture of professionalism in the hospital ward, but today I lost it. My patient, a sweet elderly woman named Mary, had been asking me for her pain medication every ten minutes. It's frustrating because there are strict protocols we have to follow and I know she needs rest as much as medication. But after four hours of this, something snapped inside me. I found myself in the supply closet, quietly pouring an extra dose into a cup and taking it to her room under the guise of bringing back a regular dose. I told Mary I was sorry for keeping her waiting but explained that it would help with the pain and she could rest better now. It felt like the right thing to do at the moment, but as soon as I left her room, guilt set in. I'm not sure how long this secret will weigh on me or how much longer I can keep up this charade of being the perfect nurse.