The Great Coffee Sabotage of '23

So here’s the thing, I’ve been really struggling with getting up early for my 8 AM classes lately. I’m a grad student, so I guess you’d expect me to be more responsible and on top of things, but let’s face it, I was running low on coffee this morning when I left the apartment. I knew if I didn’t have that caffeine boost by around 10:30 AM, my brain would just shut off. So naturally, my mind started racing with all these wild plans to ensure I’d be awake in class today. At first it was simple things like trying to stay up later the night before (bad idea), drinking lots of water to make myself go to the bathroom every 15 minutes (also bad), and even setting multiple alarms hoping that one would work. But then, out of nowhere, I got this brilliant idea. Well, it was more like an evil genius plan really. My roommate has a thing for having their coffee at exactly 7:30 AM sharp every single morning because they think that’s the most effective time to drink it. And let me tell you, this guy can be a bit of a coffee snob sometimes too. So here was my masterstroke: I thought about putting some hot water in his coffee mug and adding just enough instant coffee crystals so it would look like regular brewed coffee. Of course, there’s no flavor left after that since the crystals get melted down instantly. But hey, he wouldn’t know unless he tasted it…right? As soon as this plan formed in my head, I felt pretty good about myself, I was going to outsmart the early bird! The problem came later when I realized maybe being sneaky wasn’t the best solution here. Plus, what if they figure it out? We share a small kitchen and bathroom space, so catching me red-handed might not be that difficult. Now I’m sitting at my desk feeling all sorts of guilty and wondering how I could have let this happen. Was it worth it for just one extra hour of sleep? Probably not. But hey, sometimes we’re our own worst enemies, right?