Wasted My Scholarship On Pizza and Netflix

So, I got this big scholarship to come here for college. I'm a first-year now, finally living away from home and feeling all grown-up and stuff. Mom was super proud. But you know what? It's not going so well. I spend way too much time watching random stuff on Netflix instead of studying or hanging out with people. I just get lost in some weird show for hours and forget to do homework. And the pizza, oh man, the pizza delivery place knows me by name now. I eat it almost every day, which is definitely not how you're supposed to use scholarship money. I try to tell myself it's okay because Netflix has these documentaries that are 'educational' or something. But really? It’s all a lie. Every time I think about my parents and the sacrifices they made so I could come here, it just feels like another punch in the gut. They expect me to do great things with this chance, but instead of working hard, I'm wasting it on late-night binges and carb-heavy meals. I don't know how to change. It's like there's a part of me that doesn't want to grow up or take responsibility. Maybe it's just a phase, but every day feels the same, waking up, ordering pizza, watching stuff on Netflix until I fall asleep at midnight because my alarm is set for 8 AM classes. I haven’t told anyone about this yet. Mom would be disappointed. My professors would probably give me that look like they think I'm a screw-up. But I am a screw-up, aren't I? Here I am at college and I’m more lost than ever.