a long time crush never said

i've had this silly crush on my neighbor charlie for years now. we're both in our 50s but it's just been one of those things that never went anywhere, despite all the signs he probably knows i like him. every morning when he mows his lawn, i make sure to be sitting outside with a cup of coffee watching, because if there’s anything better than a man doing yard work in nothing but shorts and t-shirts on a hot day, it's knowing that you've got an audience who thinks he’s the most handsome thing they've ever seen. yet whenever we actually see each other face-to-face, i turn into this awkward mess who can't form complete sentences and always stutters about the weather or his latest project going on around here. it’s really quite ridiculous.