i lied to my roommate

sooo i'm at this new college and everything is just so exciting right? like literally every day feels like a new adventure. but there's also the small stuff, you know? today was one of those days. it started out fine until i got an email from the school saying that we needed to wear masks in class because of some recent case numbers going up. i mean honestly i'm kinda relieved about this because wearing a mask when i talk helps hide how anxious my voice gets sometimes, especially around new people like my professors. but uh... let's just say it wasn't really something i wanted my roommate to know, you know? because here’s the thing: she's all for being totally open and transparent with everything. which is great and all but also sometimes can be a bit too much for me. so anyways, i was stressing about how i would have to wear one and it feels like everyone could tell how nervous i get. then my roommate texted saying that the professor had mentioned masks again in class today and she wanted to know if i’d heard anything different or not. and yeahhh i kinda went with uh 'nope, everything’s chill here!' which is a total lie but also kind of a half-truth because honestly, wearing one just gives me this weird sense of security where it’s like my safe space when things get overwhelming. now here's the funny part: later today she asked if i wanted to go out for dinner and we were both walking down the street maskless (because outside doesn’t count!) when another student from our dorm walked past us. and just as they passed, you know how it feels like someone is watching too closely? because that’s exactly what happened. so naturally my roommate turns around and says hi to this person, and then casually mentions something about the masks in class. and guess what? said student looks super surprised because i’m pretty sure my roommate was expecting me to have my mask on if we were inside somewhere but outside no one needs them right? and i mean... it’s a little embarrassing but also kind of funny at the same time. now every time this other person sees us, there's probably going to be some eye rolling about how much i need my mask even though i never actually said that out loud. yeah so basically today i fibbed a tiny bit and am feeling kinda guilty because my roommate’s cool with being honest but sometimes that can put me on the spot. and now it feels like everyone will know soon enough but i’m still trying to find ways to make wearing one in class feel less like a big deal. oh well, another day at college right?