I'm Always Late to Work...

So here's this thing I've been doing for months now, and I know it’s not exactly professional or smart. Every morning, I wake up knowing I'll be late to work again because my alarm clock doesn't actually work as an alarm anymore, it just sits there humming like a sleepy drone. And you'd think setting multiple alarms would help, but no... They all get ignored too. Instead of blaming myself for being lazy or whatever, I’ve decided to take a different approach: blame the coffee gods! Yeah, apparently they're out to sabotage my early morning routine. So I come in late every day, pretending it was all about needing one more cup from Starbucks before facing the caffeine-deprived horrors of working at a cafe without a single drop to sip on...