Why Did I Say That?

So here's the deal. It all started on Monday morning when I arrived at work and discovered that our office was running out of printer paper. As someone who spends most days glued to their computer, printing things off is basically my bread and butter. When I found the last few sheets in the supply closet, it dawned on me that this could become a serious issue by Friday if we didn't replenish soon. My mind immediately jumped to action. We have a supplier who delivers new supplies weekly but only after an order has been placed with them. Given how tight the deadlines are for our projects, I couldn't afford any delays due to lack of printer paper. So instead of admitting that there was a shortage and facing potential project delays, I lied. During a team meeting on Tuesday morning, someone asked if we were all set for supplies for the week. My heart pounding, I confidently replied that everything was under control and we wouldn't run out any time soon. Inside, though, I felt like an impostor who had just committed to a lie that could jeopardize our work. The guilt started gnawing at me as the days went on without anyone ordering new supplies. By Thursday afternoon, my printer had spit out the last few sheets of paper, and panic set in knowing how much printing was still needed for projects due tomorrow morning. I felt like a fraud, having let down both myself and my colleagues who trusted us to have all our bases covered. Now here we are on Friday morning with no more printer paper and scrambling just to finish what we can without it. While the team managed to pull through somehow, I find myself questioning why I couldn't be honest in the first place. Was it really such a big deal to admit there was a supply issue? Would we have been worse off if we had dealt with this sooner? I keep asking myself what could've possibly made me think lying about something as mundane as printer paper was okay. Maybe it's just my need for everything to be perfect and under control at all times, or maybe I'm just a coward who can't face admitting when things aren't going according to plan. Either way, I'm left wondering how much trust this small lie has damaged.