Old Dog New Tricks

So there I was last night, sitting in front of my TV trying to figure out what to binge-watch. Nothing really caught my fancy until Netflix suggested this ridiculous new reality show about people competing for the title of 'Best Pet Owner.' Now, I've been a pet owner since before you were born and let me tell you, it's not exactly rocket science, just love them more than yourself, right? But then I saw these so-called contestants doing backflips to get their pets treats and talking like they invented the concept of doggy daycare. If you ask me, there's only one way to be a great pet owner: keep your promises and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Anyway, long story short, my old bulldog, Max, came in with his tail dragging on the floor because I forgot to feed him earlier while I was trying to figure out this new show. Instead of feeding him, I found myself analyzing all these people's pet-care techniques and felt like giving them a lecture on how it's about consistency and not being a circus performer every day. Now that I've had my rant, maybe I'll just go feed Max some real food instead of those gimmicky treats they're trying to sell in the show. And if you ever suggest something like this to me again, remember: I am 50 years old and know more about being a responsible pet owner than your reality TV experts.