kids r loud

so my kids are these little monsters who think it's cool to scream at each other and for some reason i have this weird idea that they need to learn to talk like regular people. so i'm in the kitchen trying to make dinner, you know, something decent after a week of pb&j, when out of nowhere, i hear my 7-year-old yelling 'dad ruined my favorite shirt again' and my 5-year-old screaming back 'u r just jealous cos i have cool clothes'. and i'm like wth guys, we've talked about this. then it turns into the usual crap like who ate what and whose turn it is to wear the fancy shoes. so i try to calm them down with bribes of ice cream after dinner, but you know how that goes. they just laugh at me. man, parenting's a joke sometimes.