New Job Jitters (And More)

So I started this new job last week. Everyone's been super nice and all, but honestly, I'm still the kind of person who spills coffee on my shirt just to feel more awkward in any given situation. Today was particularly bad because I accidentally dropped a stapler on someone’s foot while trying to be helpful. Now every time they walk past me, their eyes narrow slightly as if they're calculating something sinister. I can almost hear the timer ticking. But here's what really got me: during lunch, my boss asked me about my weekend and I blurted out that I had accidentally set off the smoke alarm at home by burning toast. It was a dumb reflex response to break the awkward silence. Am I just doomed to make all these little rookie mistakes? Any advice on how to turn this ship around before it sails straight into embarrassing failure land? Comments?