secret notebook stuff

i have this notebook where i write down all my secrets and thoughts. lately ive been writing way too much about my crush on max from math class. like every day, sometimes twice a day. i know its weird to be so focused on someone but im scared if i dont write it down ill forget everything about him. he smiles at me sometimes in class which is the cutest thing ever and i wonder what hes thinking when he looks at me. i feel bad keeping all these thoughts locked away instead of telling max how i feel, but its scary to open up like that. is this normal? am i just being a coward or should i wait until im ready? what would u do?