Pouring My Heart Out Behind the Bar

Every night behind the bar feels like a repeat of the last. The laughter, the jokes, and sometimes the tears, I’ve become this space for everyone’s drama except my own. Tonight, it hit me hard as I watched two friends argue over silly things while sipping their drinks. It got me thinking about the walls I keep up to avoid any real connection. I’m here to pour drinks, not let them see the cracks in mine. The thing is, every time someone orders a shot of whiskey or tells me they need an escape, a part of me wants to say, ‘Join me on the other side.’ But I can’t. So many nights spent serving others their dreams and worries while my own get buried deeper under the bar’s clutter. Is it normal to feel this way? Do you ever wonder what it would be like if I let them see more of who I am behind the facade? What advice do you have for someone trying to find balance between being everyone else's shoulder and their own person?