Why Did I Do This?...

So today was one of those days where everything just felt off. I woke up late for my 8 AM lecture because I couldn't fall asleep last night thinking about all the existential questions that are weighing on me lately. Like why is life so short compared to how much we have left to do and understand? And what’s the point of learning everything if it all fades away eventually anyway?... Anyway, after a rushed morning coffee run (I don’t like Starbucks, but the campus café was out), I got to class late. Now, my professor is super chill, always encouraging us to ask questions and discuss openly. But today, for some reason, I decided it would be fun to pretend that I had forgotten my book in the library, which wasn’t true at all... So while everyone else started taking notes or listening attentively, I pretended to browse through irrelevant websites on my laptop instead of paying attention. And honestly, it felt like a small victory against this overwhelming feeling of insignificance... But now as I’m writing this, I can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with me for doing that. Is it normal to find comfort in little acts of rebellion, even when they don’t really change anything? Am I just being dramatic or is everyone else secretly a rebel too but just better at hiding it...?