i am such an asshole parent

so there's this thing that my teenager and i have been struggling with for a while now. it started when they got their first job at the local ice cream shop, you know how teens love jobs where they can get free food? well, ever since then, every time we go out as a family or to an event, they ask if they can work in the evening instead of going with us. i understand wanting to earn money and being independent but it feels like my kid is choosing their job over me all the time. last week was my birthday dinner at our favorite restaurant and guess what? they said no, saying they needed to work late shifts again for extra cash. it was just one more reminder of how little we spend quality time together anymore. i got so mad that night i went ahead and booked a surprise trip to their favorite amusement park the next week without even talking to them about it first. thought maybe if i surprised them with a day out, they'd feel guilty for working all the time instead of being there for us. turns out my teenager was just as annoyed by this plan as they are every other time we try to force quality family moments on them. now everyone is mad at me and my kid still seems distant when we talk about anything personal or family related. i am an asshole parent trying too hard but failing miserably.